Wanted to share this– the hard-copy line edit– as always, helping to keep red pen manufacturers in the black–
Part of what you’re seeing on this page is the fact this portion of the story was cobbled together of out maybe three different versions of the same scene. Being a pantser is sometimes a very messy business.
As always, I do hope that by the time I finish the edit I will still be able to read my corrections; my hen-scratching does seem to be getting more and more problematic as I get older. Oh, well.