Draft Princess of Fire Blurb

Well, my first interview for a new job didn’t exactly go as well as I might have wanted (translation– I crashed and burned), so I decided to distract myself with a little blurb creation.

I think I do pretty well with my blurbs, since I aim to entice without revealing too much. I think I’ve read enough dime-store SF novels to have a pretty good sense of what should go on the book’s back cover. The purpose of the blurb is to persuade some kid with complexion issues to buy the book rather than a super-size container of malted milk balls. At least, that’s how it always worked for me.

So here it is–

Princess of Fire

Kathy Pennington has now been on the planet Jauthur for a year. Her battle of wills with her grandmother, the Dowager Empress of the Val, has reached a stalemate– the empress insists on Kathy succeeding her on the throne, and Kathy insists on going home to Chicago. Neither woman has budged an inch.

But when the empress is besieged in the south of the Empire by a rebel army, and the volcano on the capitol’s doorstep shows signs of awakening, Kathy must find sources of strength she did not know she possessed, to help save people from looming danger. If she doesn’t, hundreds of thousands of innocent lives will be lost in ash and fire.

I would welcome any comments. Thanks.

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4 thoughts on “Draft Princess of Fire Blurb”

  1. Sounds great! One suggestion. Break the first sentence in the second paragraph into two. It’s just a little wordy and would have a better impact if it was split….. ie.
    “But when the empress is besieged in the south of the Empire by a rebel army, and the volcano on the capitol’s doorstep shows signs of awakening, everything changes. Now, Kathy must find sources of strength she did not know she possessed.”

  2. Honestly, I like this a lot as-is. The whole thing flows nicely, and way it finishes is superb. I agree with Sal, though, as that particular sentence is indeed a little long.

    Only other thing that comes to mind: “Neither woman has budged an inch” doesn’t sound right to me, and I’m honestly not sure why. Maybe it’s just that it sounds less “epic” than the rest of the blurb; I’ll reply again if/when I figure it out.

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